I’m in the last few days of my pregnancy now. Time seems to somehow be simultaneously flying by and inching past. My mind approaches a near panic when I think, “only x number of days till our sleep patterns are even laughably called ‘patterns’ and our whole world changes again.” But more frequently, I feel that the time of her arrival cannot come fast enough. Where we can hold our daughter, breathe in her scent and yes; have our whole world change again.

My husband is a strange creature that loves the feeling of climbing into icy sheets at night. I think it is because he is like most mammals and is able to warm the sheets through his natural body heat within minutes. Not so for me! When I was in the hospital, I kept having to reassure the nurses that took my temperature daily that it was normal for my body temperature to hover somewhere around 97 degrees. I have no idea why. Part vampire?? With less glitter and more body fat? The point is that this is the first winter in my memory where I have actually been hot. I push my toes down to find the cold places in the sheets, finally shoving the covers back and asking trevor, “how HIGH is the heat?!”… while he shivers next to me. I had Judah near the end of a Memphis summer and I can tell you, if you have a choice in these things, winter pregnancy is the way to go.

I have been taking advantage of my forced bedrest to try and be productive. I made all of our Christmas cards this year, although I will admit the number of friends and relatives receiving cards dwindled lower and lower as I went through about a million hot glue gun sticks. If you were on the front end of my list, yay! If not… I promise we love you anyway. Please don’t perceive my laziness as a lack of affection.

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Hannah and I have been planning our Christmas menu’s, all of the outfits we are going to dress the baby in, and perusing pinterest. The latter of which I have to thank for the awesome moment when hannah saw a self made, “speaker” idea and decided to try out her body’s natural acoustics by sticking her earbuds in her nose and opening her mouth to give me a listen to her ipod. Ahem… Don’t believe everything you read, folks.

And for the first time ever, (knock on wood) I have finished my Christmas shopping way ahead of time! For those of you that finish your shopping months in advance, mid december is way ahead of the game for me…. ya freaks. And, I am seriously considering sending a gift or perhaps a singing telegram to the genius who thought of Amazon prime. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Both of our families have now been talked into making Amazon wish lists, and the stress of Christmas shopping is nearly a distant memory… nearly. Getting family to make these wish lists has been hilarious. My mom was probably the most sceptical about making the leap into technology based Christmas shopping. Last year she pretty much just flat out refused to make or shop from an online list. But this year, knowing that it would genuinely help me out, since I physically cannot do a lot of shopping while on bedrest, she caved. I offered to walk her through the process of making a wish list and It was hilarious to talk her through it on the phone. At one point after the phrase, “I just don’t think I’m clicking it good enough” was said, the phone just went silent for a while. “Heather? Are you there?”… I finally uncovered the receiver and was like, “uh huh”… but I was giggling so hard it came out all squeaky. She was a good sport about it though, and just laughed along with me. After we hung up I just looked over at Trevor and said, “that’s how you feel every time you walk me through technology stuff, isn’t it”. He just nodded.

The other moment of awesomeness that the wish lists have afforded me was reading my mother in law’s wish list that included a “go girl female urination device”… in the color lavender.

URINATION DEVICE

I had sent her a message about it… because, umm… its hilarious to add this 9 dollar item to your wish list and later called her when I didn’t hear back from her. I was a little bit nervous that I had offended her by making fun of it, but she was laughing when she told me she was just so excited that she didn’t have to sit down on a porta potty seat if she got that for Christmas. I was like, “Sooo, what? You are going to go into a porta potty, use this thing standing up, and then what? Just stick it back into your purse?! Or come out of the porta potty shaking this thing dripping with pee?” I later sent her an email detailing a list of things she has inspired me to add to my list. Such as a box of tampax and a pregnancy test.

I am seriously tempted every time I go into a Walgreens nowadays to buy a pregnancy test and just whisper to the clerk as they are ringing me up something like, “soo… How accurate are these things? I’ve heard the best time to take these tests is in the morning… Do you know if that’s true?” I mentioned it to Trevor one night, but he assured me that I would never make it though the questions with a strait face. And he’s right. I’ve definitely never been cool enough not to laugh at my own jokes.

I love everything about this season. The gift giving, the time and emphasis spent on family and joy and thankfulness. I love that at the heart of it all, the world is celebrating Jesus. Merry Christmas Everyone.

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